第968章 咸鱼武器
“我问她叫什么名字？“邓晨怒道，咸鱼在手里甩出一串腥臭的水珠，“这个梗很好笑吗？我们正在被追杀诶！“
刘三胖被咸鱼甩了一脸鱼鳞，委屈地抹着脸：“她叫瑰宝！上月刚入选的‘宛城十大索命佳人‘...“
“好，好名字！“邓晨突然眼睛一亮，“以后让宝宝单线联系我！“说着从怀里掏出一方绣着鸳鸯的手帕，用咸鱼在上面按了个鱼形印记，“把这个给她，就说...就说我请她吃咸鱼宴！“
刘三胖接住滴着黏液的手帕，表情像生吞了只活苍蝇：“少主，您该不会是想...“
密道上方突然传来瓦片碎裂声，又一批刺客正在屋顶集结。邓晨猛地将刘三胖往旁边一推，三支弩箭“哆哆哆“钉在刚才站立的位置，箭尾还绑着正在燃烧的火折子。
“卧槽！他们升级装备了？“邓晨看着地上滋滋冒烟的弩箭，突然发现箭杆上刻着“宛城军工·精品“的小字，“刘玄这王八蛋还给刺客配发制式武器？“
刘三胖突然发出杀猪般的惨叫：“少主小心身后！“
邓晨回头一看，那个叫瑰宝的女刺客不知何时醒了，正举着个黑陶罐朝他扑来。罐口飘出的紫色烟雾在空中凝成骷髅形状，所过之处木柜以肉眼可见的速度腐烂。
“生化武器？！“邓晨一个铁板桥后仰，陶罐擦着鼻尖飞过，将后方整面墙腐蚀出个大洞。月光透过破洞照进来，映出外面二十多个拉满弓的蒙面人。
情急之下，邓晨把咸鱼当飞镖甩出，精准命中领头弓箭手的面门。那人发出凄厉惨叫，手一松，箭矢歪歪斜斜射中同伙屁股，引发连锁反应——二十多支箭在狭窄空间里互相碰撞，最后全扎在了他们自己人身上。
“咸鱼の奥义·借箭杀人！“邓晨摆了个夸张的起手式，转头却看见瑰宝又摸出个更大的陶罐，顿时魂飞魄散，“还来？你们宛城刺客是搞化学实验的吗？“
刘三胖突然从柜台底下扛出个巨型青铜酒樽：“少主接住！“说着用力一推，酒樽咕噜噜滚向邓晨。邓晨下意识接住，发现里面泡着几十条正在发酵的咸鱼，恶臭程度堪比粪坑爆炸。
“这是...?“
“老坛酸菜鱼plus版！“刘三胖捏着鼻子跳开，“扔出去！“
邓晨使尽吃奶的力气将酒樽掷出，瑰宝下意识用陶罐格挡。两件“生化武器“在空中相撞，爆发出令人窒息的蘑菇云。紫色烟雾与黄色臭气纠缠升腾，在天花板形成诡异的彩虹色漩涡。
“呕——“瑰宝首当其冲，精致的妆容瞬间融化，假睫毛掉进嘴里。她踉跄后退时踩到之前晕倒的同伙，两人一起滑进被腐蚀的墙洞，像保龄球般撞翻外面整排弓箭手。
邓晨趁机钻进密道，却听见刘三胖杀猪般的嚎叫：“少主！密道里有老——“
“轰隆！“
整段密道突然倾斜45度，邓晨顿时变成人肉滑梯。原来这条所谓“直通城外“的密道，根本是刘三胖偷工减料用排水沟改造的！此刻他像坐水上乐园的滑梯般高速下滑，屁股在青苔上摩擦出火星子。
“三胖我日你大爷——“邓晨的咒骂在曲折的沟渠里回荡。前方突然出现岔路口，左边标着“出城“，右边画着个马桶图案。他本能地想选左边，却惊恐地发现那个箭头是用咸鱼汁画的——根据组织暗号，这分明是陷阱提示！
千钧一发之际，邓晨拔出短剑插入右侧管壁。金属与青石摩擦迸溅的火星中，他堪堪停在马桶标志前。仔细一看，这哪是什么马桶，分明是通往地下暗河的应急出口！
身后传来“嗖嗖“的破空声，追兵竟然往排水沟里射火箭了！邓晨再不敢犹豫，一脚踹开伪装成石板的暗门。刹那间，巨大的水流将他冲进地下河，咸鱼却奇迹般仍攥在手中。
“哗啦——“
邓晨从河面冒头时，发现自己正在宛城护城河里漂着。不远处灯火通明的城楼上，刘玄正在举办夜宴，丝竹声顺着水面飘来。更糟的是，一队巡逻士兵正举着火把沿河岸搜查。
“妈的...“邓晨把咸鱼顶在头上当伪装，假装是段漂浮的烂木头。谁知这咸鱼在月光下竟反射出诡异的油光，引得巡逻队纷纷驻足。
“头儿，那木头好像在发光？“
“放屁！木头怎么会...等等，它好像在唱歌？“
原来邓晨情急之下，居然无意识地哼起了小调：“我是一条小咸鱼，从来也不急...“
眼看火把越来越近，邓晨把心一横，突然举起咸鱼大喊：“看！飞鱼！“用尽全力将咸鱼掷向反方向。那咸鱼在空中划出完美的抛物线，鱼嘴还喷出一道发酵三年的老卤汁，精准浇灭了领头士兵的火把。
“敌袭！“士兵们乱作一团时，邓晨一个猛子扎进河底。等他再次浮出水面，已经扒在了艘画舫的船尾。正要松口气，船舱里突然传来娇笑声：“大人，听说邓晨少主最爱吃咸鱼呢~“
邓晨浑身一僵——这声音，分明是那个叫瑰宝的女刺客！而回应她的男声更让他毛骨悚然：“呵呵，本官特意准备了九转大肠炖咸鱼...（吸溜）...等他来赴宴...“
透过雕花窗棂，邓晨看见刘玄的心腹大将朱鲔，正对着满桌黑暗料理流口水。更恐怖的是，每道菜都点缀着风干的咸鱼头，死鱼眼齐刷刷盯着窗外。
“完犊子...“邓晨缓缓沉入水中，吐出一串绝望的泡泡。他终于明白刘三胖的警告——刘玄的阳谋阴谋，怕是连咸鱼都不放过啊！
看来明的暗的，云里雾里，真是让人雾里看花；这个朱鮪可是刘玄的亲信，怎么也得好好利用一下。
邓晨在水下憋得肺都要炸了，耳边还回荡着画舫里朱鲔那句“九转大肠炖咸鱼“。他心想这刘玄手下都是什么变态，连设宴害人都要搞得这么重口味。
一秒记住【顶点小说】
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