第三百八十三章 再遇八戒
第三百八十三章再遇八戒(第1/2页)
李山河是又掐人中又拍脸，就差扇嘴巴子了，彪子才幽幽转醒。
彪子迷迷糊糊“嗯”了一声，眼皮艰难地掀开一条缝，含糊不清地嘟囔：“…妹儿…轻点…腰子…腰子要掉了…”
突然，他像是被噩梦魇住，又像是想起了什么极其恐怖的事情，眼睛“唰”地一下瞪得溜圆！
瞳孔里充满了惊骇欲绝的光芒，仿佛看到了秀芬那两根“金刚指”正朝他肾反射区猛戳过来！
“嗷——！！”一声凄厉的、完全不似人声的惨叫从彪子喉咙里迸发出来，比在澡堂子里那声还惨烈十倍！
他像屁股底下装了弹簧，“噌”地一下从条凳上弹射起步，动作快得带起一阵风！
“二叔！快跑！那二百斤的妹儿追来了！！！”彪子根本不等李山河反应，一把死死攥住李山河的手腕，那力道，比秀芬抓他脚踝还狠！
不由分说，拉着李山河就往浴池外冲！那架势，活像背后真有二百斤的秀芬举着修脚刀追杀他似的！
澡堂子休息大厅里顿时一片寂静。打呼噜的停了，下棋的棋子掉了，嗑瓜子的瓜子皮卡嗓子眼了…
所有人都目瞪口呆地看着这俩穿着蓝白条浴服、趿拉着木头趿拉板、像被狗撵一样狂奔而出的神经病。
“啪嗒啪嗒啪嗒…”木头趿拉板敲击着冰冷的水泥地面，发出急促而滑稽的声响。
彪子拉着李山河，一路火花带闪电，穿上衣服冲出浴池大门，刺骨的寒风瞬间灌了个透心凉，激得两人同时一哆嗦，但彪子脚下丝毫不敢停，直奔镇上的吴白莲店铺——他们的摩托车寄存在那儿。
彪子呼哧带喘，一把掀开了摩托车上盖的苫布，“二叔，快，钥匙，此地有大恐怖，不宜久留啊二叔。”
李山河被彪子这一通操作整得哭笑不得，但也知道这小子是真被秀芬按出心理阴影了。
进屋摸出钥匙直接丢给了彪子。
彪子拿到钥匙，三两下踹着火，震得窗户纸都嗡嗡响。
“二叔！上车！”彪子跨上驾驶座，拍着后座，眼睛亮得吓人，哪还有半点刚才的怂样？
那表情，活像要开着坦克去冲锋陷阵。
李山河摇摇头，认命地跨上后座。还没等他坐稳，彪子右手猛地一拧油门！
“呜——嗡——！！！”摩托车排气管发出一声暴躁的嘶吼，像头被激怒的钢铁野兽！
彪子不知道是归心似箭，还是想尽快逃离这个让他“肾疼”的伤心地，那油门…绝对是拧到了死！
摩托猛地向前一蹿，强大的推背感差点把李山河甩出去！他赶紧死死抱住彪子的腰。
“彪子！你慢点！作死啊！”李山河的吼声被狂风瞬间撕碎。
李山河上去就是一个大脖溜子，“你他娘的慢点，门还没锁呢！”
此时彪子才后知后觉停下了车，李山河匆忙去锁上了门，重新坐会摩托后座，彪子再一次窜了出去。
摩托像道绿色的闪电，咆哮着冲出小镇，一头扎进通往朝阳沟屯的乡间土路。
路面积雪被压得瓷实溜滑，两旁是光秃秃的杨树林和覆盖着厚厚白雪的田野。
寒风像刀子一样刮在脸上，生疼。
摩托在雪路上狂飙，边斗都时不时离地飘起来，颠簸得李山河五脏六腑都要移位了。
（本章未完，请点击下一页继续阅读）第三百八十三章再遇八戒(第2/2页)
“慢点！沟！前面有沟！”李山河看着前面一个被积雪半掩的排水沟，急得大喊。
彪子也看见了，下意识想捏离合刹车减速。可就在这时！
路边一个半人高的雪堆后面，毫无征兆地，猛地钻出一个锃亮的大光头！
在冬日惨白的阳光下，那光头反射的光差点晃瞎人眼！
光头下面，是那件熟悉的、打着补丁的灰色破僧衣！
脖子上那串油亮乌黑的“佛珠”晃荡着！不是火车上那个八戒是谁？
“阿弥陀了个佛！施主留步！贫僧与你有缘……”
“卧槽，你不要过来啊！”
八戒眼瞅着彪子骑着摩托好似发情的野猪一样朝着自己冲来，脸色吓得煞白一片，在求生欲的驱使下，直接就开始跑起了S弯。
要不说这俩人能一起将相声呢，说是心有灵犀一点通都不为过。
八戒往左躲，彪子往左冲，八戒往右蹽，彪子往右奔！
“我滴亲娘祖奶奶啊——！！！”彪子魂都吓飞了！比看见秀芬还惊悚！这大和尚是他妈从哪蹦出来的啊？！
电光火石间，他脑子里一片空白，身体的本能接管了一切！右手油门下意识又拧了一下左手猛地一捏前刹！脚下同时想去踩后刹，结果慌乱中踩了个空！
更要命的是，他下意识地想扭车把避开这“人形障碍物”！
于是，在零下四十多度的寒风里，在覆盖着冰雪的乡间土路上，在一声更加凄厉的“嗷——”声伴奏下，这辆马力强劲的乌拉尔摩托，上演了一出惊心动魄的冰上芭蕾。
车头猛地向左一甩！后轮在冰面上疯狂空转打滑！边斗高高扬起！
整个车身以一种完全失控的姿态，带着巨大的惯性，斜刺里朝着路旁那个了然和尚刚刚钻出来的大雪堆…旁边的深沟，义无反顾地冲了过去！
“哐当！咔嚓！稀里哗啦——！！！”
一阵令人牙酸的金属扭曲和积雪塌陷声过后…
世界安静了。
摩托以一个极其别扭的姿势，前轮栽进沟底，后轮和边斗还挂在沟沿上，彻底趴窝，发动机不甘地哼唧了两声，彻底熄火，排气管冒着缕缕青烟。
沟沿上，李山河在最后关头凭借猎人超强的平衡感，在空中直接一个三百六十度转体，外接一个托马斯回旋！
然后平A接W接外圈挂，然后一个E往回拉，再接上一个诺克萨斯断头台，然后两个后空翻平稳落地！
彪子就比较惨了，半个身子栽在边斗里，一条腿还挂在车把上，摔得七荤八素，眼冒金星，嘴里啃了一嘴雪，呸呸地往外吐。
而那个罪魁祸首八戒，早在摩托失控甩尾的瞬间，就展现出了与他“高僧”身份不符的、极其敏捷的身手！
一个懒驴打滚，连滚带爬地躲到了路边的杨树后面，此刻正拍着胸口，惊魂未定地喘着粗气，嘴里还念念有词：“阿弥了个陀佛！差点就要见佛祖了，不是，小僧就吃了你一根半红肠，至不至于啊？”
“你不想给你早说啊，你早说我不就不要了吗，你为什么不早说呢？”
一秒记住【顶点小说】
dingdian12345.com，更新快，无弹窗！
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