第261章 甄嬛传观影——谁是我阿玛（9）
【《躺平回忆录》第二十一弹：九哥，大哥被老爷子圈禁那么多年，生了一大堆孩子，他也不姓朱啊，怎么就那么能生？弘历侄儿说要把省下来的钱给我花，我们帮他绝育吧？】
？？？
嘶，我的十爷，你该不会为了钱把直郡王变成太监吧？
想到这，太监们不由暗戳戳的打量直郡王，心里幻想着直郡王与他们为伍的场景，那该是......
“前朝太监魏忠贤人称九千岁，你是朝臣口中的大千岁，你看你们的称呼多有缘啊？不如你也学一学他，好歹能多活几千年呢？”
面对老对头太子的挑衅，直郡王险些没被气死，就魏忠贤那个阉货，也配和他相提并论？太子这是侮辱谁呢？
“老二，我比你活得久，这寿命哥哥留给你，谁让你几废几立，最后还被毒杀了呢，看大哥我对你多好啊！”
怼完太子的胤禔也没放过胤俄，漫不经心的说道：“老十，大哥似乎很久没考教你库布了，我们待会练练如何？不过我倒是好奇，我孩子多是猪，老爷子是什么呢？”
胤俄：.......
大哥，你的语气要是没这么杀气腾腾，我就信了你了。
未来的自己，老子恨死你了，你闲着没事干写什么书啊，呜呜呜，我真的很无辜啊！
“胤禔侄儿，我三哥遛孩子跟遛狗一样，你是猪，人家自然是猪王！”
直郡王：滚蛋，老子是你大哥，不是你侄儿！
其他阿哥们：二哥，你一会骂我们是狗，一会说我们是猪王生的，我们难道是猪狗不如吗？你有火朝老爷子撒去，牵连我们干嘛？
听到‘猪王’和‘三哥’称呼，康熙差点一口气没提上来。等缓过来以后，指着太子的鼻子，哆哆嗦嗦的问道：“哈哈，朕是猪王，是你三哥，那赫舍里氏是你什么，三嫂和猪婆吗？”
“闭嘴，你也配提我额娘？当年要不是索尼力主我阿玛顺治登基，这皇位能到你手里？要不是我赫舍里氏帮你，你能斗倒鳌拜顺利亲政、平定三藩？三哥，虽然你如今老眼昏花，但你可别忘了自己的来时路，人不能太忘恩负义！”
胤俄：快快快，二哥，不，保成叔叔你多说点，你把火力吸引走就没人看得见我了。
【《躺平回忆录》第二十二弹：大哥，我九哥保送太上皇、宜妃娘娘保送太皇太后那是他们自己争气，谁让你不会生孩子呢？这孩子贵精不贵多。】
【直郡王：那老五怎么就没生出弘历这种孩子呢？他和老九可是一样的血脉。】
【胤俄：那应该的丑女无敌的原因，丑的人才是最聪明的，老爷子丑的满脸麻点，不还是生出优秀的我们吗？大哥，弟弟那还有给九哥准备的丑女，要不我挪几个给你送来？】
升级成太皇太后的宜妃一把拉过德妃的手，轻拍道：“哎，德妃妹妹，你说有些人是不是心比天高，命比纸薄啊？这到手的太后之位都能丢了，这可真是......”
“谁说不是呢？有些人命不行，福气不够啊！”
“还是宜妃姐姐有福，不然......”
听着这些人你一言我一语的议论，德妃直接抽回自己的手，讥讽道：“我好歹还做过太后，你们有吗？”
......
是我们不配了！
惠妃看着天幕上若有所思的儿子，不由在心里盘算着给儿子送几个丑女合适，有这些丑女在，她就不信自家儿子坐不上皇位！
直郡王可不知道自家额娘的母爱快到了，他这会快被自己给蠢笑了，就老十那副草包的样子，他的话能信吗？未来的自己不会生孩子生到脑子不好使了吧？
其他阿哥们：......
能凑出九子夺嫡的他们自然是优秀的，但老十能不能把自己单独划出去，他们不愿意和草包待在一起，不过老十的命怎么就这么好，直接躺平了，他们也想要这样的人生啊！
不同于其他人的心情，胤禟回头，面无表情的盯着蠢弟弟，警告道：“老十，你日后要是敢给我准备女人，别怪我把她们全送到你床上去，让你也感受感受丑女无敌的威力！”
胤小俄：好吧，那我给老四送，到时候去他家抢孩子！
老四：......我的存在难道就是给你们配种吗？
【《躺平回忆录》第二十三弹：九哥，八哥和弟弟都成铁帽子亲王了，弘历侄儿真是太大方了，不愧是九哥的儿子，就是大气。】
被太子锻炼出来的康熙已经被在乎老十骂自己丑的满脸麻点，毕竟更离谱的话他都听过了，还差这点吗？但看着天幕上兴高采烈的老十，不由喃喃自语道：“铁帽子亲王吗？朕要是封几个铁帽子亲王，你们还会争得和乌眼鸡一样吗？”
九龙：你觉得呢？我要是成功坐上皇位，那就是我封别人为铁帽子亲王，到时候我们手里一大把，你那一个哪里吃香？
老五等人：汗阿玛，给我们吧，我们不嫌少！
【《躺平回忆录》第二十四弹，太皇太后：德妃葬在了景陵，那哀家呢？】
【胤俄：安了，景陵如今只有老爷子一个人，其他人早就挪走了，毕竟那可是风水宝地，天然游泳池呢！】
？？？
康熙本来不明白自己的景陵为什么会是天然游泳池，但看完天幕的旁白后，直接破防了，骂道：“你们这群孽障，既然其他人能挪走，那为什么不挪朕的？朕在污水里泡着对你们有什么好处吗？”
阿哥们：是没什么好处，但是也没什么坏处啊？反正你死都死了，忍忍就过去了。
太子本来还不忿自家额娘被挪走，但看完所有，轻笑道：“三哥，您生前尊贵，死后独居一室，这宽敞的环境才配得上你的身份！”
被叫多了三哥，康熙已经懒得纠正太子了，这会他的身后事才是重中之重，于是咬牙道：“那为何不能修缮景陵？独居和修缮也不冲突吧？”
“父慈子孝，三哥遛儿子遛了这么多年，以致于儿心尽失，所以大家才会漠视您泡污水，如今我倒是想看看您选哪个人登基，才能保障自己的身后事呢？”
康熙：朕选谁呢？有能力的儿子都选择了漠视，没能力的上去也坐不稳，自己怎么就混到这个地步了呢？
“三哥，您选谁呢？我还等着看你的下场呢？”
康熙余光看见胤禛，顿时眼前一亮。
“老四，朕把李金桂赐给你，你和她可要尽快有后代，朕的弘历就靠你了！”
朕真是太机智了，朕的身后事稳了。
胤禛：把儿子当种马，你是我亲阿玛吗？等你死了老子要去刨坟！
其他人：我们一起去！老爷子，要怪就怪你活不过我们，不然这游泳池你住定了！
一秒记住【顶点小说】
dingdian12345.com，更新快，无弹窗！
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