第438章 第438章
第438章第438章(第1/2页)
他现在不过是个见不得光的“死人”罢了！当初嘴硬得跟石头一样不答应陆念瑶，现在呢？别说频繁出现了，他现在连她口中施舍般的“偶尔”，都做不到了！
“所以，你现在应该是很高兴吧？”许司言盯着黑漆漆的屋顶，喃喃自语，眼底泛起一片猩红，“终于没有我这个讨人厌的家伙去打扰你了，你可以过上没有我，只有孩子和父母的理想生活了……陆念瑶，你高兴吗？你……真的高兴吗？”
越是自虐般地想，就越是忍不住去深挖。
原来人在极度痛苦的时候，自虐也是会让人上瘾的。
现在哪怕只是这点钻心剜骨的痛，许司言都要死死地咬着牙紧紧抓住，根本不舍得丢下。
因为仿佛只有这份痛楚，才是他现在和陆念瑶之间唯一的牵绊了……
可他这当了多年兵王的骨子里，到底还有个不服输的声音在声嘶力竭地呐喊。
不对！陆念瑶之前可是帮了你不少次！不管是帮你寻找亲生父母的线索，还是后来跟你一起抓白元青那个王八蛋的事，她不都在尽心尽力地帮你吗？
脑子里，两个声音立刻像仇人一样激烈地打起了架。
一个声音冷嘲热讽：“别往自己脸上贴金了！念瑶骨子里就是那么善良的人，就算不是你，这些事哪怕是发生在别的军人身上，她都会毫不犹豫地帮忙的呀！你怎么能因为人家天性善良，就厚颜无耻地觉得人家是对你余情未了，觉得自己还有机会？真是不要脸啊！你以前因为周诗雨那个绿茶婊，做了那么多伤害她的事，你还好意思奢求她心里惦记着你？许司言，你脸呢？！”
另一个声音急切地反驳：“是！我是做了很多浑蛋事，做了很多不好的事！可我也应该有个将功补过、改正的机会吧？正因为我以前瞎了眼犯了错，那以后我才能更好地避开这些坑，避免再犯错呀！”
那个冷嘲热讽的声音顿时拔高了八度：“嘁！狗改不了吃屎！就算你改了又怎么样？念瑶凭什么要在你这棵歪脖子树上吊死？她为什么不可以换个男人？！”
“换个男人”这四个字一出。
许司言心里的火苗，一下子就被一盆冰水浇了个透心凉，彻底哑火了。
是啊……为什么陆念瑶不能换个男人呢？
她长得那么漂亮，那么好，又聪明又能干，画个图纸就能赚钱，性格还那么招人喜欢。这样的她，无论是自己一个人带着孩子生活，还是重新找个知冷知热的伴儿，应该都能过得幸福又精彩吧！
她凭什么要守着自己这样一个曾经为了战友遗孀、把她伤得体无完肤的浑蛋？
她还这么年轻，她完全有拥抱更明媚的未来的机会才对啊！
就在他快要被绝望淹没的时候，心里那个不服输的小人儿又蹦了出来，拼命地摇晃他：
“许司言，你千万别妄自菲薄！你别忘了，她曾经是很喜欢很喜欢你的！那么喜欢的一个人，感情怎么可能说没就没、说不喜欢就不喜欢了呢？她嘴上一边凶巴巴地赶你走，但行动上又一边纵容你跟两个孩子相处，难道你还看不出来吗？她那是刀子嘴豆腐心，她心里绝对还有你呀！你可千万不能这时候打退堂鼓放弃了，知道吗？！”
（本章未完，请点击下一页继续阅读）第438章第438章(第2/2页)
许司言躺在硬邦邦的木板床上，被这两种极端的情绪反复拉扯，纠结得都快要原地爆炸了。
是吗？真的是这样吗？
他此刻太需要这样一把自欺欺人的安慰声音了。
是啊，说不定陆念瑶心里还是有自己的位置的，哪怕只剩下一点点的喜欢……
可这自我安慰还没维持两秒钟，一阵突如其来的心慌，像毒蛇一样瞬间缠住了他的脖子。
之前在江城，是他一直仗着不要脸在耍赖，死拖着不肯去打结婚证上的离婚报告，非得死皮赖脸地守着这个名义上的婚姻关系。
但现在……他成了死人啊！
“腾！”
许司言惊得一下从床上坐了起来，脑门子上瞬间冒出了一层密密麻麻的冷汗，连呼吸都急促了起来。
他现在是个死人！
现在活在这个世上的，只有正在西北执行卧底任务的黑老大马仔“江思远”，而那个叫“许司言”的军区团长，已经不存在了！
“许司言”在国家的人口登记处，是真正意义上、法律意义上的死亡了！
这简单来说意味着什么？意味着陆念瑶现如今已经自动丧失了配偶，恢复了单身状态！他们的婚姻，在法律上已经被彻底消除了！
所以……如果陆念瑶现在动了改嫁的念头，那是完全合法合规、完全可以光明正大去实现的！
“不……不会吧？”
许司言吞了口唾沫，声音都在不受控制地发抖。
他完全不敢想！“陆念瑶会改嫁”这六个字，对他的杀伤力简直就是核弹级别的！
光是脑子里稍微触碰一下这个念头，都能让他瞬间粉身碎骨、万劫不复！
一旦这事儿成了真的……他不敢想！他绝对会疯的！
“不会的不会的不会的……”
堂堂一个能在死人堆里杀出来的兵王，此刻竟然碎碎念着，像只遇到危险的鸵鸟一样，“哧溜”一下重新缩回了满是霉味的被子里，把脑袋死死埋起来。
他不断地在心里给自己洗脑，说服自己那种可怕的事绝对不会发生，不可能会发生！
念瑶心里肯定还有我！怎么可能舍得改嫁？
我不能再胡思乱想了！我不应该想这些自己吓唬自己的事，当下最应该做的，是打起十二万分的精神，认真执行“江思远”的卧底任务！争取早日端掉这个团伙，早日完成任务！
只有这样，我才能早一天洗清档案，更早地活着出现在她和孩子们面前才对！
强行选择逃避现实的许司言，就在这种极度不安和自我催眠中，迷迷糊糊地想着。
连他自己都不知道是什么时候睡着的。
即便是在极度疲惫中入睡了，他这一觉也睡得极不踏实，两道剑眉死死地拧在一起，中间的褶皱深得能夹死苍蝇，整个人就像是浸泡在苦涩的黄连水里，被不安死死包裹。
一秒记住【顶点小说】
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